Practicing Self-Care in Addiction Support

self care

We constantly hear the word “self-care” in media, but there’s not much surrounding the conversation of addiction. Addiction is a disease just like any other chronic illness, and we’re quick to talk about “self-care” when supporting a loved one with cancer or a psychiatric disorder. Yet, no one talks about how important self-care is when in the unique position of loving someone with an addiction or in recovery.

You may be drained from driving your loved one to rehab, scheduling their appointments, or constantly checking in on them to make sure they’re following through with treatment. You may be exhausted from trying to “make” them go to rehab when they refuse or are mentally checked out from seeing their disease progress and the harmful consequences it brings.

Putting yourself first can feel like not a priority, but it’s more crucial now than ever, especially when you care so much about your loved one. How do you expect to help them overcome their disease when your own physical and emotional health aren’t taken care of?

With that said, let’s explore why self-care is important and how it contributes to addiction support.

Addiction Support Can Lead to Compassion Fatigue

Loving someone with addiction can lead to something called “compassion fatigue;” a condition like burn-out where we spend so much of our energy on being there for and trying to “fix” the person that we neglect our own needs. This can lead to feeling “sick” physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually.

Some signs of compassion fatigue can include:

  • Physical symptoms. Being sick all the time, increased headaches or migraines, heightened susceptibility to colds, sleep pattern changes, and physical bodily pain are signs of compassion fatigue.
  • Negative shifts in your emotions. You may feel depressed more often, experience increased mood swings, or just feel “off.”
  • Out-of-character behavioral changes. You may find yourself snapping at your kids more, not going out with your friends as much, or being more forgetful of daily tasks and responsibilities.

Compassion fatigue, if not recognized, can affect your daily life and make it more difficult to tend to responsibilities—much less support someone you love with addiction. Prioritizing self-care is an important part of preventing compassion fatigue.

Self-Care is NOT Escapsim

Escapism is using one-time treats and distractions that feel good at the moment but don’t really lead to any long-term personal improvement. It isn’t necessarily harmful, but it can become a problem when done for too little or too long. Examples can be treating yourself to a shopping spree or getting a dessert from your favorite bakery; it’s a nice temporary distraction, but if done too much, it can interfere with reality and cause more problems.

On the other hand, self-care is intentional and mindful decisions to improve your long-term well-being, like a routine or healthy habit. Self-care can be as small as doing something you enjoy. For instance, it can even be doing the dishes or laundry; if doing this chore makes you feel good about yourself, then it’s self-care.

Self-care is a longstanding, established routine, not an in-the-moment distraction like escapism. Be sure to be mindful of these differences when setting a self-care plan in place.

The Different Facets of Self-Care

There are a few different “buckets” to self-care that you should keep in mind when creating a plan:

Financial Self-Care

We don’t think of looking at our finances as “self-care,” but it’s a big part of setting ourselves up for long-term betterment. Establishing a budget, paying down debt, or committing to that vacation you’ve been dying to take are examples of financial self-care; it improves your well-being in the long term.

Physical Self-Care

We see this facet as “well, obviously,” but it’s so much more important than we think. Caring for someone with a chronic disease like addiction takes up a lot of mental energy that leads to physical stress on our bodies; nourishing it with exercise, sleep, hydration, and good hygiene is key to self-preservation in the face of addiction.

Mental Self-Care 

Your own mental health is crucial in self-care for addiction support. Reading, journaling, doing simple mind games like crossword puzzles, or playing your favorite instrument are a few ways to preserve your mental health when supporting a loved one.

Social Self-Care 

Humans are social creatures, and we’re not designed to be in isolation. Social self-care is just as important as physical and mental well-being as it provides a healthy outlet while improving your own relationships outside of your loved one with an addiction. This looks like calling a distant cousin you’ve been meaning to check in on, catching lunch with an old coworker, or re-enrolling in that book club you used to attend. Human connections are a big yet overlooked aspect of self-care, so it’s important to keep this in mind for your long-term well-being.

Even the Little Things Make a Big Difference

Try not to get caught up in thinking self-care involves “huge” changes in your lifestyle. It’s important to do what you know is reasonable, otherwise you’ll exhaust or stress yourself even more.

For instance, going from working out a couple of times a month to five times a week can be unrealistic. Start with once or twice a week so you don’t burn yourself out. That’s the opposite of self-care; you want to make sure you can stick to it.

Another example could be trying to journal every day when you haven’t journaled before. It can be exhausting at first, so try journaling your feelings on an as-needed basis or doing a weekly journal recap at the end of each week instead. These little things snowball over time into productive well-being and healthy habits.

Always Put Yourself First

As we’ve covered, loving someone with an addiction can be exhausting, but it’s crucial to keep your own mental health in mind. You want to be the best person you can be for your loved one, and you can’t do that on an empty tank. Starting small to build a habit can feel insignificant at first, but it makes a huge difference in the long run.

To get help or information on addiction in the family, explore more resources for yourself, including addiction books and videos, a community support group database, and therapy for families on our Family & Friends page. You can also learn more about self-care in addiction support in our webinar recording, “Self-Care Strategies for Addiction Support” or use our self-care worksheet to help you create a plan.

About Master Center for Addiction Medicine

Master Center for Addiction Medicine is a groundbreaking addiction treatment program headquartered in Glen Allen, Va. Based on a vision of comprehensive outpatient care, Master Center was launched in 2016 and now includes locations throughout the Commonwealth.

Master Center offers a coordinated, multidisciplinary approach rarely seen in the outpatient setting, staffed by experienced addiction physicians, psychiatrists, counselors, therapists, and peer recovery coaches.

Give us a call today at 804.332.5950 to schedule an appointment or learn more about us.