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When your spouse, child, parent, roommate, or someone you care about seems “off” lately, you may feel confused, worried, or unsure of how to act. Have they been acting abnormally lately? Is their appearance neglected by them? Are they engaging in sketchy behavior?  

As much as we don’t like to talk about it, these signs might indicate that someone is struggling with addiction behind the scenes. However, stigma, worries of overstepping your boundaries, or fears of backlash are common reasons you may not approach someone you care about who may have an addiction.

So, how do you know for sure they’re battling the disease of addiction? Are these signs just a one-off dip in their mood, or is there something deeper? Since 2016, our addiction specialists, counselors, and therapists have treated thousands of patients suffering from addiction and helped many families work through these feelings of confusion and uncertainty to empower loved ones like yourself. They’ve offered their best advice on how to tell if someone is struggling with addiction to help you best identify, address, and act on addiction.

7 Ways to Tell Someone is Struggling with Addiction

40 million people have an addiction, but less than 10% actually get help, and it starts by not identifying the signs early. Regardless of the substance type, the signs of addiction overlap with each other; whether it’s opioids, alcohol, marijuana, Kratom, or any other drug, it’s important to know these 7 common signs to best get help before it’s too late.

1. Often telling lies and keeping secrets.

2. Displaying unpredictable and abnormal mood swings.

3. Having a sudden loss of property or money.

4. Noticeable weight changes.

5. Noticeable changes in energy and sleep patterns.

6. Sudden disinterest in hobbies and passions.

7. Abrupt withdrawal from responsibilities at home, work, or school.

Let’s explore these signs of addiction more in depth.

1. Telling Lies & Keeping Secrets

One of the most common signs that someone is struggling with addiction is that they become secretive, isolated, or defensive. Drug abuse is a silent and oftentimes isolated activity, so their behavior may appear more reclusive, and they may start suddenly lying about their whereabouts and activities.

For instance, is your child suddenly hiding away in their room more often or lying about who they’re hanging out with after school? Is your partner going to “doctor appointments” they don’t have, or “a friend’s house” you’ve never heard of? Is your roommate home more often without telling you why? These behaviors may indicate a deeper issue at play, and it’s important to note these changes.

2. Unpredictable & Abnormal Mood Swings

Alcohol and drugs change body chemistry severely, so people who suffer from drug and alcohol addiction may start acting erratically. Sudden outbursts or seemingly unprovoked shifts from positive to negative moods may be linked to substance abuse.

For instance, what makes heroin dangerous is that it causes decreased mental function, leading to depressed or erratic moods. Additionally, alcohol is a depressant, so your loved one may seem more “down” than usual. You know your loved one best, so if you think something is off, trust your gut and look more closely.

3. Sudden Loss of Property & Money

When someone is suffering from drug and alcohol addiction, it triggers an obsessive, desperate need to continue consuming their substance of choice, and those substances aren’t free. If money or valuables around the house start disappearing, it’s often because someone is taking them to finance their habit. This is a potentially destructive sign of addiction.

Have you noticed money disappearing from your wallet or joint bank account recently? Did your loved one suddenly sell an important item, like fancy jewelry, an heirloom, or furniture? Sudden disappearances of money and property without notice can be related to addiction, so be on the lookout for any financial losses.

4. Noticeable Weight Changes

Another way to tell if someone is using drugs or alcohol is abnormal weight changes. Fluctuations in weight are a common sign of addiction, as substance abuse is known to have a major effect on appetite. For instance, drugs like heroin can induce vomiting and nausea, leading to abrupt weight loss. However, only approach this sign if your loved one is losing weight without any real reason, like changes in diet or exercise.

5. Changes in Energy Level & Sleep Patterns

This sign depends on the substance being abused. For example, stimulants like cocaine and meth cause bursts of energy, including erratic behavior and sleeplessness, while depressants like alcohol can induce more lethargic and sleepy behavior. If you notice someone being unusually lethargic or unusually energetic to the point of hyperactivity, this could be a sign of drug and alcohol addiction.

Maybe your teenager is sleeping too much or staying up too late into the night, or perhaps your spouse is overly hyper, talking at a fast pace, and is more restless. These odd behavior changes could indicate an underlying addiction at play.

6. Sudden Disinterest in Hobbies and Passions

Drug and alcohol addiction is a disease that leaves its victims with little mental capacity and interest in anything other than feeding the habit. The substance is put at the forefront of their mind, causing them to lose any care for the things they once enjoyed.

Your spouse may suddenly stop attending their book club, your child may stop playing their favorite instrument, or your parent may stop coaching their grandchild’s Little League baseball team. If you notice someone close to you neglecting the things that used to drive them, start asking questions about it as a sign of addiction.

7. Withdrawal from Responsibilities at Home or Work

Addiction changes the way people look at their lives; their priorities get shifted, putting their substance use at the forefront of their minds. Someone who is normally dependable will start missing deadlines, forgetting appointments, and just generally being unreliable. They may start forgetting to pick up their grandchild from daycare, missing their child’s soccer games, calling out from work more often, or ignoring their homework.

When someone is battling addiction, the disease overtakes everything else important in their lives and puts the drug at an even higher level than basic needs, like food and shelter. Neglecting responsibilities is often a major sign that someone is struggling with addiction, so it’s important to be mindful of these changes.

How to Approach Someone Struggling with Addiction

It’s not easy to confront a loved one about their changes in behavior, and finding ways to help a family member addicted to drugs or alcohol can feel overwhelming. That’s why our specialists have offered their best tips for approaching a loved one about your concerns.

Come with Solutions, Not Accusations

The key to helping a loved one is being educated, confident, and ready with solutions. It’s important that you don’t barge in with accusations, but actually are aware of the signs of addiction and know how your loved one can get the help they need. Do your research, explore rehab options, and educate yourself as best as possible rather than place blame on anyone.

Hold an Intervention if Necessary

We often see these on TV and movies, but there’s actually a way to do them successfully and with the right support. Interventions are a good chance for you to convey your concerns in a closed space, and they provide a channel of communication. However, it’s important to be educated and prepared when taking this route. Check out our guide on how to hold an intervention successfully in our article on the topic to get more information.

Have Healthy Boundaries Set & Ready

Boundaries are crucial in general, and knowing how to set boundaries with someone with an addiction is imperative when addressing your concerns. Be sure to make these known when confronting your loved one; express your discomfort with their drug use, secretive behavior, and lying with care and confidence.

Don’t Let Stigma Get in the Way

Addiction is a sensitive, taboo topic, and we often let the stigma of it keep us from helping someone we love. That’s why you should always convey that your concerns come from a place of love and consideration for your loved one, and don’t let stigma make you fearful of addressing addiction.

Be Mindful of Your Works & Behaviors

Try to use assertive but caring language when confronting someone, and be mindful of your nonverbal language. Fidgeting, avoiding eye contact, and raising your voice can be off-putting, so try your best to stay calm and collected.

A great starting point is educating yourself on addiction as a disease that affects the entire family. With that, we recommend considering joining a community group, seeing a therapist, or just doing research on the disease of addiction to help you understand your loved one better.

Always remember, too, that you know your loved one best, and what may work for some may not work for others. Keep your loved one’s personality and your relationship with them in mind when approaching them with your concerns.

Getting Addiction Help for You & Your Loved One

Knowing how to tell when someone is struggling with addiction isn’t always easy or comfortable, but support for both you and your loved one is available. At Master Center, our Family & Friends Program offers a variety of services specifically for you to manage life with addiction, including a library of handpicked resources, a support group database, group therapy, and more.

We also offer a FREE e-book, “A Loved One’s Guide to Life with Addiction,” that is a great starting place to learn about addiction, rehab, boundaries, self-care, and more. It’s a great resource for the most important information to help you support your loved one and regain control of your life.

Remember that your concern for someone you care about comes from a place of love, so as long as you’re mindful of the signs and come prepared with solutions, you’ll be ready to help.

If you want to learn more about our Family & Friends Program, reach out to us at 804.332.5950 and get the tools to regain control of your life.

About Master Center

Master Center for Addiction Medicine is a groundbreaking addiction treatment program headquartered in Glen Allen, Va. Based on a vision of comprehensive outpatient care, Master Center was launched in 2016 and now includes locations throughout the Commonwealth.

Master Center offers a coordinated, multidisciplinary approach rarely seen in the outpatient setting, staffed by experienced addiction physicians, psychiatrists, counselors, therapists, and peer recovery coaches.