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When addiction takes control of someone’s life, it can destroy everything, including what matters most: relationships. How drug addiction affects relationships is substantial, and you may find yourself stuck in a desperate situation with a spouse, child, parent, sibling, or anyone else you care deeply about.

Someone you once felt like was an open book may have suddenly shut themselves away in isolation, or maybe someone who was once independent starts pushing your boundaries a little too far, taking advantage of you for money or basic needs. Whatever the case, drug addiction changes the personality of the person, causing their behaviors to harm the relationships they once valued.

If this sounds like your situation, you’re not alone, and we’re here to help. Our certified addiction counselors have helped thousands of patients on the road to repairing damaged relationships caused by drug abuse and have offered information on not just how drug addiction affects relationships, but what you can do to protect yourself. Knowing this information is a great start to taking control of your life in the face of addiction.

With that, let’s explore the ways drug addiction affects relationships and how you can take action to protect yourself, your loved one, and your relationship.

How Drug Addiction Affects Relationships: 5 Main Ways

When you’re noticing someone who you care about struggling with addiction, small but impactful changes occur in their behavior. This, in turn, affects your relationship with them, and it can feel like you’re slowly losing your person to addiction. But without knowing the signs, how can you start repairing that lost relationship?

Our specialists have identified that addiction affects relationships in 5 main ways:

1. Noticeable increase in secrecy and deception.

2. Knowingly or unknowingly enabling dangerous behavior.

3. Harmful presence of codependency.

4. Starting or worsening physical and/or emotional abuse.

5. Irreparable and broken trust.

Let’s explore these aspects in more detail.

1. Increase in Secrecy & Deception

One of the biggest problems people have with an addicted family member is lies and deception. As one of the major ways to tell if someone is using drugs, using drugs is an isolated activity for the person, which creates feelings of guilt and shame, and causes them to hide their substance abuse from their loved ones. Often, people struggling with addiction may live a double life to deceive their families.

For instance, your loved one may lie about borrowing money for gas, but they’re actually using it to buy their drugs or alcohol. Or your loved one may say they’re going on a work trip, but they’re actually going on a bender. Small lies turn into bigger ones because those with an addiction are afraid to face judgment from their family. Sadly, their addiction can be more powerful than their will to be honest, and this can severely damage your relationship with them.

2. Enablement & Manipulation

The word “enablement” is often thrown around in addiction, but it’s actually a very harmful form of manipulation that the addicted person uses on their loved ones. Enablement is protecting your loved one from the consequences of their actions by doing things they can do themselves, either knowingly or unknowingly. You may think you’re helping your loved one, but you’re just protecting their addiction, and the person takes advantage of that.

Has there been a time when you’ve paid a bill for a loved one while knowing they’re using the money for drugs? Are you constantly picking up your grandchildren from daycare because the person is out on a bender or getting high somewhere else? This is enablement, and it’s incredibly damaging for both your loved one and your relationship.

Accepting blame for the addicted individual, making excuses for them, and minimizing their actions to their benefit are common enabling behaviors. It’s important to know that this strategy is ineffective and often leads to broken relationships in the long term.

3. Codependency & Reliance

In tandem with—and often resulting from—enablement, codependency is a harmful consequence of how addiction affects relationships. In short, codependency is the excessive emotional or psychological reliance on someone you care about. Codependent people most often engage in enabling behaviors because they want to preserve the relationship, no matter the cost, while also advancing their own desires and addiction.

This can look like your loved one becoming financially dependent on you to finance their drug habit at the expense of your own welfare. Regardless, if a person with addiction never faces the consequences of their actions, they may never realize the gravity of the problem, causing immense damage to the relationship.

4. Physical & Emotional Abuse

One of the most devastating effects of drug addiction is violence. Drug addiction can severely impact someone’s mental state; with heavy use, there can be devastating changes to the brain that alter their perceptions of right and wrong. In this skewed state, the addicted individual may cross a line and act violently.

Along with physical abuse, several different forms of emotional abuse can transpire in relationships. The person abusing drugs may experience mood swings, depression, paranoia, or anxiety, causing them to inflict their anger, frustration, and shame on the person they love.  

It’s important to remember that abuse doesn’t just happen in romantic relationships; it can occur between a child and a parent, siblings, friends, or anyone you care about. If you’re experiencing domestic abuse and violence, call a hotline immediately.

5. Loss of Trust

Regardless of whether it’s a partner, family member, friend, or anyone else you love, trust is crucial for maintaining a healthy relationship. However, someone battling drug addiction can damage their relationship due to their lying, deceit, manipulation, and codependency. Your loved one may not put the same amount of energy or time into your relationship that they put into their addiction, and that leads to the harmful cycle of enablement and manipulation.

4 Ways to Help Your Relationship

Now that you know how drug addiction affects relationships, what can you do about it? Our specialists have identified the best ways you can work to not only repair your relationship but also keep yourself safe and secure as your loved one figures out how to overcome addiction.

1. Learn How to Set Healthy Boundaries

The line between tough love and boundaries gets muddled, so our specialists recommend identifying, setting, and approaching boundaries with your loved one. They can include:

• Not picking them up from jail for their DUI.

• Refusing to pay rent, bills, child support, or other financial obligations.

• Excluding them from family events, like holidays and birthday parties.

We recommend reading our article “How to Set Boundaries with Someone with an Addiction” for more information on how to convey your limits to someone you love.

2. Set Up an Intervention if Needed

Interventions, when done correctly, can be useful in creating a line of communication between you and your loved one, even if they don’t immediately get help for their addiction. Be sure, however, that you consult with a specialist before attempting an intervention and pay attention to the timing of it; jumping into one headfirst can actually cause more damage than good to the relationship, so always be mindful.

We go over everything you need to know about interventions in our article “Holding an Intervention: What You Need to Know” if you’re looking for more information.

3. Educate Yourself on Addiction

Getting your loved one the help they need is the goal, but you can’t exactly force them into rehab without causing more damage. That’s why, when codependency, enablement, and dangerous consequences arise, it’s very useful to understand everything you can about addiction to better work towards improving your relationship.

Addiction is a brain disease, not a choice, and knowing how it works is one step towards better understanding and helping your loved one.

4. Consider Family, Group, or Individual Therapy

Therapy is an integral part of any self-improvement, and there are dozens of types out there that can help you, your loved one, and your relationship. At Master Center, we offer group therapy for families of those with an addiction, as well as a free database of community support groups specifically aimed at helping you navigate these types of challenges.

Being able to process your emotions with a specialist or with a support group of like-minded people can be instrumental in getting you the tools to reclaim your life and relationship in the face of addiction.

Getting Help for You & Your Loved One

Addiction can cause conflicts in a relationship that the addicted person and their family may not know how to overcome; lies, loss of trust, and other forms of abuse can harm all kinds of relationships.

But you don’t have to let that happen. There are plenty of ways to help a family member addicted to drugs and support resources specifically for you that can help you rebuild damaged relationships. Taking initiative in setting your boundaries, getting outside support, and making an effort to better understand your loved one are substantial in regaining that lost trust.

For more information and resources on how to manage life when someone you love has an addiction, we encourage you to explore our Family & Friends Program that includes free resources, educational classes, and group therapy just for you. We also have a free downloadable e-book that has the most important things you need to know about addiction in your life.

Always remember that being aware of the signs of damaged relationships and knowing ways to repair them can lead you on the path to self-preservation as your loved one overcomes their disease. Explore our Family & Friends Program today to get started.

About Master Center

Master Center is a groundbreaking addiction treatment program headquartered in Glen Allen, Va. Based on a vision of comprehensive outpatient care, Master Center was launched in 2016 and now includes locations throughout the Commonwealth.

Master Center offers a coordinated, multidisciplinary approach rarely seen in the outpatient setting, staffed by experienced addiction physicians, psychiatrists, counselors, therapists, and peer recovery coaches.