Can You Make Someone Start Rehab?

Can You Make Someone Start Rehab?

We know that it’s heartbreaking seeing someone you love suffer through addiction, and it can feel even worse when they’re unwilling to start rehab or even refusing to acknowledge their disorder. Being on the outside looking in can be frustrating, and all you want to know is: “How do I make them start rehab when they don’t want to?”

The key is balancing being a concerned loved one and refusing to enable the behavior; however, remember that being too forceful will just push them away, and there’s a delicate balance at play. Remember to engage in self-care so you can be in a better position to provide your loved one with the appropriate support they may need, without trying to “fix” the situation.

So, what do you do? How do you “make” someone start rehab when they don’t want to?

How To Make Someone Start Rehab

You don’t.

We know that’s not the answer you want to hear, but it’s the truth; you cannot force someone into rehab when they don’t want to or aren’t ready. However, once you accept this reality, you’ll open yourself up to a wide world of ways to best find success for you and your loved one.

Alleviating the stress of worrying about finding how to force your loved one into rehab can help clear your mind and focus on showing your support and expressing your desire for them to seek help in a subtle, compassionate, yet non-enabling way. There are steps to take to achieve this:

  1. Educate yourself on the warning signs and science of addiction. 
  1. Explore the different forms of rehab and treatment to create a well-researched plan for your loved one. 
  1. Equip yourself with the tools to manage the reality of life with an addicted person. 
  1. Engage in self-care to promote your own emotional and physical well-being. 

These are recommended by our licensed and certified addiction counselors and are encouraged as a means to show your loved one how serious you are about getting them help while prioritizing your wellbeing.

Educate Yourself

First, it’s important to understand that addiction is a chronic and progressive disease and medical condition that can be treated like any other illness—such as heart disease, diabetes, cancer, mental disorders, etc. It requires education, research, and action, and this begins with understanding the signs.

In general, the signs of addiction (regardless of substance) are:

  • Lies and secrets. Someone battling an addiction is typically more secretive about their activities. This includes lying about or hiding their alcohol or drug use, where they spend their time, or who they’re meeting with. If you feel something is off about their behavior, it’s definitely worth noting.
  • Sudden loss of money or property. Addiction can trigger an obsessive and desperate need to keep using, and substances aren’t free. Someone battling an addiction may suddenly lose valuables or sell expensive items to help finance their habit.
  • Withdrawing from responsibilities. Addiction alters how people view their lives, and their priorities can shift. It also changes the value that someone holds towards the substance; they view it as a survival mechanism versus a conscious choice. So, someone who is normally dependable may start missing school or work deadlines, forgetting to pick up their child from school, or misremembering appointments. Their responsibilities can be put on the back burner in exchange for drug or alcohol usage.
  • Unpredictable moods and defensiveness. Alcohol and drugs change the body’s chemistry, especially their brain functions, so someone with an addiction may begin acting erratically or more short-tempered, even though they don’t have a history of abnormal behavior.

You can learn more in our article on how to notice when someone is struggling with addiction. We also have information on how to spot alcohol abuse, so feel free to check those articles out to educate yourself further on the signs of addiction.

Research Rehab Facilities

Once you’ve learned about the science of addiction and its warning signs, you can research treatment options and rehab centers. There are several different types of rehab and many facilities available to match your loved one’s needs. The specific treatment option for your loved one may be a call away.

At a glance, there are 2 treatment types:

  1. Inpatient: These are 30-, 60-, and 90-day programs where the person lives at the facility and undergoes treatment for their addiction. Some of these facilities also offer what is called “dual-diagnosis treatment,” which includes treating both mental health and addiction. They may also offer step-down programs to help with transitional housing, employment, finances, etc.
  1. Outpatient: The person undergoes treatment in an office setting (like an agency or medical facility) where they can undergo outpatient detox, attend individual and group therapy, and/or participate in any other recovery program while still living their day-to-day lives.

Both inpatient and outpatient treatment have their own individual services, so explore the different options like intensive outpatient, medication-assisted treatment, partial-hospitalization, and others. You can learn more about treatment types in our rehab options article as well.

Once this research is done, help make a plan for your loved one. A few things to consider:

  • Determine the person’s addiction type and severity. Do they need medical supervision, or can they continue their normal lives alongside rehab? 
  • Understand their financial situation. Do they have insurance? If so, what does it cover, and how much can they afford out-of-pocket? Can the admissions office at a facility of your choice assist your loved one in receiving insurance? Does the facility offer payment plans or financial aid? 
  • Explore their previous experience and/or preconceptions about rehab. Have they been to rehab before? Is what they know about rehab limited to what they see on TV, or do they already know about their options? 
  • Figure out their comfort levels. Is your loved one open to taking medication? Do they prefer therapy in group or individual settings? 

It’s important to know both your loved one and their treatment options to show how serious you are about them getting help.

Equip Yourself

At the end of the day, seeking treatment is the person’s choice, but there’s a lot you can do to stay prepared and protect your peace. Our licensed counselors and addiction specialists recommend these steps:

  1. Save all emergency and non-emergency numbers. Emergency numbers include the Suicide/Mental Health Hotline (9.8.8), 9.1.1, and Poison Control Centers, while non-emergency contacts can include another trusted person (a family member, church clergy member, therapist, etc.), your local police department’s non-emergency number, any mental health facility, a community service board (CSB), or social services.
  1. Keep Narcan on you. Narcan is a readily available medication used for opioid overdose that anyone can administer. You can find Narcan at your local pharmacy, government websites, local health departments, or your local CSB. You can learn more about Narcan at Safe Project USA.
  1. Learn what to do in the event of an overdose. We don’t like to imagine an overdose, but it’s a real and life-threatening possibility for those with addiction. Educate yourself on what to do when you witness an overdose to prepare for the worst-case scenario. Safe Project USA also has information on what to do in an overdose situation.

It’s the little things that make a big difference and showing that you’re prepared demonstrates how much you care about the person.

What NOT to Do

When dealing with someone unwilling to go to treatment, empathy is crucial and there are may not be able to say or do that’ll “make” them change their mind.

  • Do not use physical force to get the person into rehab. It will only lead to more resentment and push them further away.
  • Do not guilt trip the person or place any blame. Make sure you don’t downplay your loved one’s experience, as it can come off as uncaring, invalidating, dismissive, or condescending.
  • Do not use manipulation tactics. Bribery, ultimatums, and threats are ineffective ways to help anyone decide to go to rehab, and it can cause long-term damage to relationships as well.

What not to say:

  • “Just stop using drugs/alcohol.”
  • “Everything is all your fault.”
  • “You’re just a druggie/addict/alcoholic.”
  • “If you don’t go to rehab, I will ___.

Tough love, setting boundaries, and genuine concern are difficult to balance, but using these guidelines can help show that you’re both understanding and serious about rehab.

Looking Forward

As we’ve mentioned, you really can’t force someone into rehab, no matter how much you may want to; it may only lead to bigger, deeper problems in the long term. Remember that education and preparation are keys to supporting your loved one; making a treatment plan, doing your own research, and equipping yourself with the right tools all help show you care.

Addiction is a disease but achieving sobriety is most effective when the person makes the choice to do so, and just know that your support can make all the difference for your loved one.

For more information on how to support your loved one with addiction, check out our Family & Friends Program that offers therapy, education, and community resources to help you manage life with addiction.

About Master Center for Addiction Medicine

Master Center for Addiction Medicine is a groundbreaking addiction treatment program headquartered in Glen Allen, Va. Based on a vision of comprehensive outpatient care, Master Center was launched in 2016 and now includes locations throughout the Commonwealth.

Master Center offers a coordinated, multidisciplinary approach rarely seen in the outpatient setting, staffed by experienced addiction physicians, psychiatrists, counselors, therapists, and peer recovery coaches. This evidence-based approach, both reliable and flexible, is meant to provide a physician-oriented response to addiction that can work seamlessly in the mainstream system of healthcare.

Give us a call today at 804.332.5950 to schedule an appointment or learn more about us.