8 Truths About Addiction People Don’t Tell You
When you hear the words “rehab” and “addiction,” what do you imagine? Do you think of AA or NA meetings? Residential centers with dorms and daily group therapy? Someone shaking and delusional from drug withdrawal or detox?
These are just dramatics shown in media; they don’t illustrate the truth of addiction as a multifaceted and complex concept. There are dozens of preconceptions about rehab, and there are even more things people don’t tell you about managing life with someone with an addiction.
Knowing the truths and realities of addiction, rehab, and recovery will lead to a better understanding and acceptance of your loved one’s disease. We’re here to guide you on the ugly truths and debunk misconceptions to help you find success and knowledge in life with addiction.
Truth #1: You Can’t “Make” Someone Go to Rehab
This is one of the hardest truths to accept, but it’s the reality. There’s no successful or healthy way to “make” someone you love go to rehab. All this does is damage relationships and push them further from the freedom of recovery; they must decide on their own. Accepting this truth is the first and one of the most important pieces to finding success for you and your loved one. Until they’re ready to take that first step, we recommend educating yourself on the science of addiction, exploring the different rehab types, equipping yourself with the tools to manage life with addiction, and engaging in personal self-care.
Truth #2: Addiction is a Brain Disease
This is a relatively controversial statement, but it shouldn’t be, because it’s backed by scientific evidence. Addiction is not a “choice” but rather a complex and chronic brain disease, not much different from Alzheimer’s, diabetes, or other chronic diseases. In short, the “instant pleasure” we get from drugs and alcohol overrides the decision-making systems in our brains, putting the substances on the same level as a basic need like food, water, or shelter. Because addiction alters our brain chemistry, it’s classified as a brain disorder, not a choice. We can also refer to it as a “disease of choice.”
Just as you don’t tell someone with diabetes to “just eat healthier,” you don’t say “just stop using” to someone with an addiction. We encourage you to learn more in our article, “Is Addiction a Choice?” and explore more on the science of addiction in our webinar on addiction myths.
Truth #3: Relapse is a Part of the Recovery Process
This is another uglier truth to rehab; relapse is a common and real part of addiction recovery. This is especially true if this is the person’s first time in rehab. We don’t like to imagine relapse, and of course, we want to prevent it as much as possible, but it’s important to know that it is a possibility.
The key here is not to give up if relapse occurs. It seems obvious and easier said than done, but it’s monumental in keeping your loved one on the path to recovery and motivating them to go through with rehab, possibly again and again.
Recovery is not a linear process. At Master Center, we don’t remove anyone from rehab if relapse occurs. We recognize it as a reality of recovery, and you should, too, so keep this in mind as your loved one navigates this journey. We recommend reading “The Reality of Rehab” to learn more about relapse and the recovery process.
Truth #4: Your Loved One’s Choices Are Out of Your Control
At the end of the day, your loved one’s decision to start or engage in rehab is their choice and not within your control. As much as we want to “fix” them, all we can do is support them, and that looks a variety of ways.
In addiction and recovery support, it’s most important to focus on the everyday things you can control. Our licensed addiction counselors recommend carrying Narcan, saving non-emergency contacts, maintaining firm boundaries, and more, so you can be prepared to manage life loving someone struggling with addiction.
You can read our article “Top Things to Do in Addiction Support” to find more ways to take back control of your life and empower yourself one day at a time.
Truth #5: There Are Many Different Forms of Rehab
Most people imagine rehab as a place where you go to live for a period where you eat, sleep, detox, and engage in group therapy at the facility. What people don’t tell you is that this is only one out of several different types of rehabs. Known as inpatient (or residential), this type is more costly, and research shows that inpatient detox leads to higher relapse rates than its counterpart, outpatient rehab.
In outpatient rehab, the person undergoes treatment in an ambulatory setting, where they can detox, attend therapy, or participate in any other recovery program while still going through their daily lives. It’s usually a more cost-effective and more accessible type of rehab than inpatient. It’s important to note, also, that regardless of rehab type, research shows that the longer someone stays in rehab, the likelier they are to achieve their recovery goals.
We recommend exploring more about different rehabs using these resources:
Truth #6: It’s Okay to Say “No”
This truth is a tricky one. We tend to focus so much on “saying” or “doing” the right thing to get our loved one into rehab that we unknowingly enable their harmful behavior. The truth is that saying “no” is an important part of addiction support for both you and your loved one.
Our licensed addiction counselors highly recommend setting appropriate boundaries and making the person feel the consequences of their decisions to help them see the severity of their disease. Whether that’s refusing to drive them somewhere sketchy, excluding them from a family event, or declining to pay their bail from their DUI, saying “no” is paramount to the recovery process. You can love someone and still show them how much their addiction affects you and your life.
Learn more about setting boundaries, avoiding enablement, and approaching “tough love” in our article, “How to Set Boundaries with Someone with an Addiction,” and our webinar on the topic.
Truth #7: Insurance Can Help Cover Rehab
The cost of rehab is a big factor in choosing to start addiction recovery. The truth is, insurance CAN cover rehab depending on your insurance plan and rehab facility choice. For instance, Medicaid has extensive coverage, so rehab can likely cost you nothing, while commercial insurance like Anthem, Cigna, and others may only cover certain parts of treatment, like medication, intensive outpatient, group therapy, and/or others. Some facilities offer scholarships and grants may help pay for your loved one’s treatment.
It’s important to ask the right questions and do your research to determine the cost of rehab. We lay this information out in our “What is the Cost of Rehab?” and “Does Insurance Cover Rehab?” articles, so check out those resources for more information.
Truth #8: Compassion Fatigue Can Happen
When you become exhausted from caring for someone with an addiction, it’s known as “compassion fatigue;” a condition like burn-out where your energy is spent so much on trying to “fix” your loved one that you neglect your own needs. This can look like being sick all the time, undergoing abnormal behavioral changes, and mental health deprecation.
People often forget that it’s draining to constantly worry about someone with an addiction or in rehab, and they end up unknowingly harming their own well-being. Our licensed therapists strongly recommend avoiding compassion fatigue through a dedicated self-care routine that puts you and your health first. Learn about what self-care in addiction support looks like in our article on the topic or in our family webinar on self-care.
Looking Forward
Overall, addiction is an ugly, heartbreaking disease, and it affects the entire family, not just the person. The truth is that you can only do so much for your loved one; you can’t “make” them find help, you can’t control their decisions, you can’t always prevent relapse, and you can’t always say “yes” to them.
It’s important to focus on what you CAN do instead; you can equip yourself with the tools to manage life with addiction, you can control your physical and emotional well-being, and you can set boundaries to protect yourself. Once you accept these truths about addiction, freedom awaits both you and your loved one.
To get help or information on addiction in the family, explore more resources for yourself, including addiction books and videos, a community support group database, and therapy for families on our Family & Friends page.
Get More Help With Our Addiction Survival Guide for Families
If you like this article, you can access all of our most popular articles for families in our FREE downloadable e-book, “A Loved One’s Guide to Life with Addiction,” and find the tools you need to take back control of your life from addiction.
About Master Center for Addiction Medicine
Master Center for Addiction Medicine is a groundbreaking addiction treatment program headquartered in Glen Allen, Va. Based on a vision of comprehensive outpatient care, Master Center was launched in 2016 and now includes locations throughout the Commonwealth.
Master Center offers a coordinated, multidisciplinary approach rarely seen in the outpatient setting, staffed by experienced addiction physicians, psychiatrists, counselors, therapists, and peer recovery coaches.
Give us a call today at 804.332.5950 to schedule an appointment or learn more about us.
