All Blogs

Addiction is a family disease, meaning it affects more than just the person with the addiction. As someone who loves them, it can feel difficult and frustrating for you to find the “right” ways to help a family member addicted to drugs. Achieving a balance between desperately wanting them to get help, preserving your relationship with them, and taking care of your well-being can feel like an impossible task.

However, addiction support comes in many forms, and you don’t have to see them suffer at the expense of your well-being. It’s important to take a step back, reflect on the situation, and look for healthy solutions that offer the best chance of success for you, your loved one, and your family.

The Best Ways to Help a Family Member Addicted to Drugs

Master Center has treated over 10,000 patients in Virginia since 2016 and has helped to repair thousands of families in their battle against addiction. Our licensed therapists and coaches recommend these 5 main approaches to helping someone you love who’s battling addiction: 

1. Educating yourself on addiction. 

2. Reserving judgement in the face of relapse. 

3. Knowing your limits and setting appropriate boundaries. 

4. Talking about addiction and remaining open with everyone involved. 

5. Prioritizing self-preservation and care. 

1. Educate Yourself on Everything Addiction-Related

It’s important to note that you can’t make someone start rehab, but nor should you enable the behavior. It’s a tricky balance, but that’s why it’s crucial to start with educating yourself on the disease of addiction.

Research the signs of addiction, all the treatment options available, relapse signs, things to avoid, and common misconceptions. This can also look like collecting brochures from rehab centers, saving phone numbers, emails, and addresses, watching educational videos, or just doing a simple Google search on the basics of addiction. There are plenty of resources available for families unsure of where to start, so be sure to be proactive in your education journey.

Be sure that you also ask important questions about your loved one, their addiction, and recovery goals when getting started. Some examples include:

• “What type of addiction does my family member have, and how severe is it?”

• “What type of insurance does my family member have, and does their insurance cover rehab?”

• “Is inpatient or outpatient rehab best for my family member?”

• “Does my family member have any other mental illnesses I should know about?”

Educational Resources & Support Groups

It’s encouraged to participate in any family programs rehab centers or community groups may offer. Education and group support can empower you to help your loved one and take care of your own needs at the same time.

Master Center offers educational classes on the science of addiction, as well as group therapy for families that’s designed to help you find additional support from others. We also offer a library of resources for family and friends on how to learn more about addiction including books, podcasts, webinars, and more on various topics.

Here are a few good places to start in your education journey:

1. Is Addiction Really a Choice?: In this article, learn about the brain science behind addiction and how you can use it to better understand your loved one.

2. Alcohol Rehab in Virginia: All Your Options Explained: In this article, explore all your rehab options for not just alcoholism, but drug abuse and other addictions.

3. Common Addiction Myths: Busted!: In this webinar, get all the most common misconceptions about addiction debunked and learn more about addiction as a disease.

4. How to Notice When Someone is Struggling with Addiction: In this article, discover the main signs of spotting addiction and how to take action before it worsens.

5. Family Dysfunction & the Roles We Play: In this webinar, learn about how your role in your loved one’s life plays in their addiction and recovery, and how you can use that knowledge to better support their journey.

2. Reserve Judgment When Relapse Occurs

An unfortunate reality of rehab and addiction is that relapse happens, and it’s more common than we think. In fact, most people have 3-5 “quit attempts” (relapses) before achieving long-term recovery. Triggers are a part of a person’s recovery process, and they’re nearly inescapable.

The key is to not show any judgement or resentment when a relapse occurs. When a relapses or seems like they’re giving up, the support of those around them can make all the difference. Something as small as saying “let’s try again,” or “it’s okay to start over” can be life-changing for them, so try to remain optimistic and non-judgmental when an episode occurs. It’s also a good idea to know the warning signs of relapse to stay vigilant in preventing an episode.

We know this can be difficult, especially when it feels like they relapse over and over again; your frustration is understandable. However, maintaining that trust and compassion is one of the core pieces in ways to help a family member addicted to drugs or alcohol. Approaching your loved one with understanding and support will show them that you are trustworthy, serious about their recovery, and supportive even in their darkest moments, and that can make all the difference.

What to Do When Relapse Happens

Without treatment, about 1 out of 3 people with alcoholism relapse in the first year, and nearly 90% with drug addictions relapse in the same amount of time.

However, this does not mean they have “failed” rehab or lost their recovery journey. When relapse occurs, there are a few proactive ways to help your loved one get back on track. Our specialists recommend these strategies:

• Help them readjust their goals and break down the “why,” “what,” and “how” behind their recovery.

• Encourage them to reach out to someone, even if that person isn’t you.

• Ensure they aren’t isolated—invite them to lunch, bring them to a church group, or do anything that keeps them from being alone.

• Reassess their program—if they’re already in rehab—and consider helping them find other options if needed.

Remember that relapse isn’t the “end-all-be-all” of your support in their recovery journey, and simply keeping a positive attitude can go a long way.

3. Set Firm & Appropriate Boundaries

We hear the word “boundaries” a lot, but that is a complex skill that develops over time. Sometimes when we think we are setting boundaries, we are enabling. Boundaries is one of many healthy ways to help a family member addicted to drugs, while enabling delays the recovery process. A firm boundary is recognizing a dangerous pattern from your loved one that puts you in an uncomfortable position and taking action that puts safety first. In turn, this actually prevents enabling and demonstrates your sincerity in getting your loved one to recovery.

Examples of Setting Boundaries

You know your loved one best, so some examples may work for you while others may not. Be sure to reflect on your relationship with the person, the severity of their addiction, the situation at hand, and your goals for everyone involved. Some examples can be:

• Not allowing your loved one in your home when drunk, high, or inebriated of any kind.

• Not picking them up from jail from their DUI or paying their bail.

• Revoking their driving privileges or refusing to let them borrow your car.

• Excluding them from important events like your child’s soccer game, your parent’s birthday party, Hannukah dinner, or any other family activity.

How to Approach Boundaries

Setting boundaries with someone with an addiction can be challenging, and it’s normal to be scared, but it pays off in the end in supporting both yourself and your loved one. Our addiction experts recommend these strategies:

• Use “I” and “we” statements and avoid “you” statements.

• Go outside your comfort zone to convey sincerity.

• Be aware of your non-verbal communication and remain assertive.

• Set realistic expectations that you and your loved one are likely to follow.

4. Don’t Be Scared to Talk About Addiction

Many people struggle with addiction in their family, but are too ashamed to talk about it; however, talking about addiction can be healing both for the person trying to overcome the disease as well as their family members. A loved one may be reluctant to come to you and ask for help, but keeping an open dialogue is your best chance to be there for them when they need you most.

One common way to do this is through intervention. Most of us have an idea of what interventions are, but they’re actually deeply complex and have mixed, unpredictable results. They can work, but they should be approached with caution and require an understanding of the factors that play into their results. We recommend reading our article, “Holding an Intervention: What You Need to Know” to get more information, insight, and guidance on interventions if interested.

Overall, try to maintain the confidence to talk about addiction, your feelings, and the impact of your loved one’s addiction on your life. Talking about “the elephant in the room” may feel scary, but it pays off in the long run and makes finding solutions much easier. Eventually, this can lead to feeling more comfortable in your loved one accepting help in the long run.

5. Prioritize Self-Care

Self-preservation can take on many forms, and it’s crucial to recognize that even the little things make a big difference. Whether it’s putting a few dollars away every week, penciling in volunteer work once a month, or making an effort to go on a 5-minute walk each day, it all adds up and helps you be your best self to support your loved one. We encourage you to practice self-care in addiction support as best as possible, as it will allow you to be there for them during their battle against addiction.

Remember to Always Remain Patient & Compassionate

You’re never alone in your experience, and there are plenty of ways to help a family member addicted to drugs. It’s also important to remember that you can’t force your loved one to get help, nor can you control their actions; however, that doesn’t mean you’re powerless.

As long as you remain honest with them and yourself, do everything you can to best understand them and their addiction, and stay prepared for what may come, your efforts can go a long way in helping them achieve freedom of recovery.

Get More Help with the Family & Friends Program

When addiction enters your life, it can feel overwhelming and stressful. For more resources on ways to help a family member addicted to drugs, Master Center offers a Family & Friends Program designed for you and your situation. This program was created specifically for loved ones of those with addiction and offers a wide array of services for your personal support, including a free database of resources, educational classes, group therapy, and more.

You can also access all our most popular articles for families in our FREE downloadable e-book, “A Loved One’s Guide to Life with Addiction.” The e-book answers your most common questions—including costs of rehab, the different types of facilities, information on Narcan, and different treatment medications—to help you find the tools to take back control of your life from addiction.

About Master Center

Master Center is a groundbreaking addiction treatment program headquartered in Glen Allen, Va. Based on a vision of comprehensive outpatient care, Master Center was launched in 2016 and now includes locations throughout the Commonwealth.

Master Center offers a coordinated, multidisciplinary approach rarely seen in the outpatient setting, staffed by experienced addiction physicians, psychiatrists, counselors, therapists, and peer recovery coaches.